A Tutoring Mistake Parents Make

In a phone call today, a prospective client said something that got me thinking about a common mistake I see tutoring parents make. Not that he was making the mistake; in fact, he was doing the opposite of what I'm about to point out here, and he can help me me show you some good practices I've seen before in parents that indicate a positive tutoring outcome.

But first, what's the mistake?

I'd call it set-it-and-forget-it. They've hired the expert, and the expert will take care of it.

One example that comes to mind is an ACT-tutoring dad who didn't realize he had to be the one to sign his daughter up to take the ACT. He didn't realize it wasn't my job to sign her up for the exam. Before this incident, I'd never even considered that a parent would not know they had to sign the child up for the test; definitely not a parent who clearly already knew what day and time the test was. During the angry call I got from him about his daughter missing out, I realized he'd assumed I was in charge of every facet of test prep, and that he was free to stop thinking about it and resume his own life pursuits, sans mental load.

Honestly, even that outlying example could be chalked up to a simple, wildly differing contrast in expectations. But the fallout of such a misunderstanding can be insurmountable.

I want parents to keep in mind that a hired professional does not replace the parents' role in the child's education. Meeting the goal the professional is hired to help with will require continued stamina of attention on the parents' part. In fact, the time and attention of the parent is often part of the course of action I end up recommending, whether it's telling parents who want their kids to read more to take the kids to the library once a week, or expecting the parent to remind, encourage, harass, and/or coerce their kids to complete their homework (this is a factor that separates the kids who do their homework from the kids who don't, btw..it's 8 pm, do you know where your child's homework is?).

From my experience, parents are as bad at doing their homework as kids are--homework in this case being the time and mental load of doing the tasks I recommend or request of them in service of meeting the goal they hired me to achieve. Homework that parents didn't realize that they needed to be doing, which contributed to landing them on my doorstep in the first place. Here's a quick, common example:

Parent: "My child still doesn't know his multiplication tables/read on his own!"

Me: "Have you tried quizzing/reading with him every night?"

Parent: "No, I don't have time, and I already have the skill, and he needs to learn it too." See, this is where an hour with me a week is not going to change the daily habits of the household that would most directly support the student's growth. Hardening your stance and doubling down about a child's need to learn self-reliance isn't going to change their habits, I assure you. It's contributing to the problem. Sorry.

But I understand why parents react this way. You're busy. You're hoping to be able to scratch that task off, not add more to your list. However, there are the things a hired professional just can't do, like the daily reminders to complete homework, or filling out the documents, or overseeing the student's overall schedule, or being the person to spend that 20-30 minutes a night being the child's study or reading buddy (unless you'd like to hire me for this, in which case I'd love to, but I think this is quality time that parents shouldn't miss out on, especially with younger kids).

So, what signs did the prospective client give that he would be along for the ride even after I'm hired? Two statements he made caught my attention:

"I've tried several other tutors, but..." This tells me the parent is still paying attention even after hiring someone. And the info after the "but" told me he has an eye on the academic goal as well as an eye on his student's comfort level and happiness. He came across as present, observant, and reasonable--all wonderful qualities in a client.

"I am not from here and I don't understand the system; I want guidance." This tells me that the parent is a willing participant in the process. He wants to play his part, he just needs to be sure how to go about it. That I can help with! And how about that communication?! That's also a great sign. I'm really looking forward to a long, productive relationship with my new client.

Want a custom-tailored plan to solve your educational problem? Contact me!

Lisa.Walter.Tutor@gmail.com

281-352-2863